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Books I Recently Rated Five Stars
FIVE STAR READS
Here’s a list of books I’ve recently read and rated five stars! Hopefully, there’s something on the list that you will find enjoyable!
DESCRIPTION:
Nat Cassidy’s highly commercial, debut horror novel Mary: An Awakening of Terror, blends Midsommar with elements of American Psycho and a pinch of I'll Be Gone in the Dark.
Mary is a quiet, middle-aged woman doing her best to blend into the background. Unremarkable. Invisible. Unknown even to herself.
But lately, things have been changing inside Mary. Along with the hot flashes and body aches, she can’t look in a mirror without passing out, and the voices in her head have been urging her to do unspeakable things.
Fired from her job in New York, she moves back to her hometown, hoping to reconnect with her past and inner self. Instead, visions of terrifying, mutilated specters overwhelm her with increasing regularity and she begins auto-writing strange thoughts and phrases. Mary discovers that these experiences are echoes of an infamous serial killer.
Then the killings begin again.
Mary’s definitely going to find herself.
DESCRIPTION:
Kate is a hard of hearing homeless woman fighting for her own survival.
All she wants is safety and a place to call home. Instead, she is suddenly able to see visions of the future.
She dreams of disasters and is unable to prevent the events alone.
Will anyone help her? Who gave her the curious ability and who are the tall, sinister men that follow her so closely?
Society does not see her, no one will listen.
Kate is determined to be heard...
DESCRIPTION:
The trees of Alaska’s Arctic wilderness have always been Sarah’s sentries and her house, a fortress, isolated from society and an abusive marriage.
Until it isn’t.
The arrival of a new neighbor and an oil company drilling through primordial, cold earth changes the forest of her valley. It bleeds through the serenity and disrupts her home, her sanity. Plagued with insomnia from the midnight sun, Sarah increasingly suspects something is using her sanctuary to hide from the bright, incessant light. An insidious menace, ancient and beyond explanation, using the wilderness for cover. Her personal demon that cares nothing for Sarah or her mental health. Something that won’t stop until it takes it all
DESCRIPTION:
A short story on the horrors of dating during a zombie apocalypse by bruja and award-winning writer and educator, Maria DeBlassie.
You know how it goes.
You go out, hoping to meet someone.
You wade through your fair share of brainless automatons, lifeless bodies, and ravenous undead, good at passing as human.
The more you go out, the less hope you feel and the colder your body gets.
But you keep at it.
All you need is one beating heart to match your own before yours stops pumping altogether.
How hard can it be to find one living, breathing human in a city full of bodies?
Dating.
It's hungry business.
Advance Praise
"Simple yet detailed, unique, and innovative. A brilliantly written little gem that is equal part creepy with the plague of walking dead and equal parts cozy with the hot chocolate and watching the neighbor's cat."
"Drawing parallels between the pitfalls of dating and dating in the zombie apocalypse, this short story packs a big world into a few pages."
"Just the right size to occupy your time while waiting. I hope you find the humor I found."
The Dead Inside: A Horror Anthology Book Review
THE DEAD INSIDE: A HORROR ANTHOLOGY EDITED BY LAUREL HIGHTOWER AND SANDRA RUTTAN
4.5 stars
COVER ART BY GEMMA AMOR
THE DEAD INSIDE is a dramatic thirty piece collection of short stories and poetry delving into the topic of identity horror. The plots explore what happens when identity is denied, forgotten, repressed, or suppressed whether through society, culture, or family. There’s an inclusive range of characters and a wide array of heartbreaking lessons to be learned. Readers will easily find stories that speak to their own internal and external experiences mirrored by these dynamic characters.
Highwater and Ruttan do a fantastic job of compiling a steady mix between stories and poetry. The collection starts off with a bang, immediately capturing reader’s attention with “From Within” by S.H. Cooper. This body horror short story focuses on an overlooked woman trying to rise the corporate ladder. From there, the collection continues in a steady ebb and flow of themes, characters, and premises that will connect with readers from various cultures and backgrounds.
Each story has a stand out moment, and while many selections will stick with readers long after the final word has been read, there are a few that rise above:
Similar in theme to “From Within,” “Evil Inc. (Or How to Succeed in Business without Really Dying)” by Robert Stahl) delves into the horrors of evil corporations that work their employees to the bone, asking readers, “How far would you go to succeed?” Some stories have a more lyrical tone such as “Subsidence” by Sarah Jackson where the protagonist discovers a crack “not a scar, just a pale slit, like a paper cut” along the collarbone. The poem entitled “Black Like That” by R.J. Joseph is an exquisitely crafted raw look at racism:
“we know your blackity black
but don’t be black like that
dark skin and thick, dark lips
bubble butt rounded with hips…”
“Ending is the Only Beginning” by Ali Seay is a chilling look at motherhood, depression, and substance abuse, while “The Daughter She Wanted” by Jaecyn Boné is less a horror story and more a powerful dramatic piece about family, self-love, and acceptance. Finally, the book ends on a fitting note of death as a young man finds himself on an unusual job interview in “An Evaluation” by Scott J. Moses.
While a few of the stories were a bit slow in pacing, the majority sunk their claws deep within, not letting go of the reader until the final moments. Transphobia, homophobia, racism, suicide, and child death are just some of the sensitive topics that are written about. Check out the content warnings at the back of the book for further information. For those who enjoy Carmen Mario Machado, Thomas Ligotti, or Rachel Yoder, this collection is a perfect fit!
Beyond the Creek: The First Review is in!
Beyond the Creek by Nico Bell First Book Review!
Thank you so much to Christina Pfeiffer @n_dhorrorbooks for this lovely review!
I’m sorry, but where have I been that I haven’t read any Nico Bell before last night?! Like, hello, rock I’ve been under, you have to go.
In her novella, BEYOND THE CREEK, Alex Foster is running from darkness, and his name is Robert (all Robert’s are butt farts, just saying). She needs money because she is pregnant and well, baby crap is not cheap. She takes a job as a caretaker for Peter Nox, a man who just had a stroke. The problem is, there is some shady shit going down in the Nox household and poor Alex is in the middle of it. You want suspense? This is for you. Spiders? Yep, this has them. Kick ass female (and one male) side characters? YUUUUUUP. I read this book in record freaking time.
I can’t remember the last time I speed read because I was not going to go to sleep without finishing it. This one is going to rock your socks off. I 100% promise that. D&T Publishing is hitting nothing but got dang homeruns in 2022 and it’s NOT EVEN FEBRUARY! Available on Godless 1/28/22 10/5 closeted family secrets
Mastodon by Steve Stred
BOOK REVIEW: MASTODON BY STEVE STRED
Lions and tigers and...WTF!!
Stred takes fans deep into the woods with this thrilling and twisted horror that will leave readers delightfully queasy! Tyler Barton's mother vanished in the forest seventeen years ago. Fast forward to the present and his father disappears in the exact same spot. Determined to not lose another parent, Tyler sets out on a rescue mission only to quickly discover that nothing is as it seems.
This book is W-I-L-D! Stred quickly captures the reader's attention and doesn't let go as this adventure unravels an unsettling secret lurking deep in the Canadian wilderness. Tyler is a likable and sympathetic character with the exact skills needed to rescue his dad. Too bad things don't go as planned and he finds himself being hunted by...well, that's for the reader to discover! But if anyone picks up this book certain they know what's lurking in the shadows, they will be pleasantly surprised (and perhaps a tad grossed out) by the twists!
The tension drips off the page, and while perhaps a little more time could have been spent on the father's POV in order to add another delicious layer of horror to the plot, there's plenty of disturbing fright to keep scare-enthusiasts glued to the page. Readers who enjoy Hunter Shea or Kealan Patrick Burke will easily feel at home diving into Stred's fast-paced creature-feature.
FOUR STARS
Meet Susan, my Eating Disorder.
No one cares about your diet, Susan.
CW: ED
I named my ED Susan because I don’t give a fuck about her diet.
I’ve mentioned my ED on social media. It’s no surprise that I’m vocal about my anti-diet stance, and I’m a huge body positive advocate having preached self-love from the rooftops for years; however, I’ve never peeled back the layers and shown y’all how all this started, my gritty struggle to health, and what I pray others learn before it’s too late. But with the holidays around the corner, and more diet ads popping up, it is my purest desire for people to realize their self-worth off of the scale, and maybe my story can help. So here it is, in all it’s vulnerability. Please, be kind.
I stared my first diet in third grade after the neighborhood boys decided I was fat. I say “decided” because when I look back at pictures, I see an adorable little kid with a round soft belly that’s perfectly normal for a child. But they pointed at me, that one day at the community pool, and called me fat, and that’s all it took. I ran to my mom and asked if my belly was too big. Her reply, “Don’t worry. Just suck in your stomach. All women do it.”
I don’t blame her. I don’t even blame those boys. We are programmed from childhood to believe a certain body is beautiful, healthy, worthy, ect. My mom truly thought she was given me a good tip, and considering that she’d spent most of her life on diets, what else could she offer?
So, I started eating the same foods she did which was dry grilled chicken and lettuce with fat-free Italian dressing, and the foundation of a lifetime of disordered eating and eventually an ED was set. (Again, I feel it’s important to note that my mom wasn’t at fault. She was just as much a victim of diet culture as the rest of us.)
My first diet didn’t last long. I loved McDonald’s too much. Instead, I gave up breakfast. I wasn’t a big fan of eating in the morning, so this wasn’t hard, and soon, I reduced lunch to a few cookies and maybe a bite of ham. Not a ham sandwich, just ham, which I would pack in a zip lock bag and stuff in my lunch bag with carrots that I threw away and, of course, cookies. I loved and still love sweets, so I wasn’t giving those up. Not yet.
Things only got worse. More boys decided I was fat and picked on me. The popular girls chimed in. It became a scene out of a typical coming-of-age teen movie, but rather than fade in the background wearing bagging sweatshirts, I got angry. I didn’t know then, but that anger would serve me later in life and save me from a life of diet culture. Back then, it gave me an edge, and when those asshole bullies came at me, I dished it back. It’s not something I’m proud of. I wasn’t particularly kind to those kids, but at the time, I felt justified since they were making my life hell.
There was a lot going on in the background that I won’t talk about, but food became my comfort, specifically fast food and desserts. Because I wasn’t eating breakfast or lunch, I was starving during dinner. My mom tried every diet under the sun but our dinners were usually the same dry chicken breast and salad with fat free Italian dressing I mentioned before. This time, I refused to eat it. If I was going to only eat one meal a day, it was going to be a meal I loved, and since we lived close to a fast food place, it was easy for me to get my way.
And that’s how I ate while living at home. One meal of fast food. When I learned to drive, I’d go to the grocery store and get candy, eat it in the car, and drop the trash in one of the sidewalk cans. Or, I’d hide it in my bedroom and eat late at night when everyone went to sleep.
I’d also exercise when people went to bed. I’d wait until the house was dark and silent, get up, lock my door, and do sit-ups, or march in place being careful to keep my steps as quiet as possible. I’d go over what I ate in my head, count up the calories (counting calories was something I’d become good at over the years), and then try to figure out how much exercise I needed to do to burn it off.
That was just my secret exercises. During the day, I did Cindy Crawford’s exercise VHS or go for a run or walk the dog or all of the above over and over.
During this time, I was still being called fat by my peers, still being made to feel ugly, lazy, disgusting. Still believing that no one would love me or even like me because of my weight. And I was still angry, still defending myself, still pissed at them and myself for “allowing” myself to gain weight, for being too stupid to figure out the magic cure to fatness, still believing that my worth was measured on the scale, which I had in my bathroom and used multiple times a day.
There were still things going on behind the scenes.
And then, I went to college.
This was the moment I’d been waiting for because I couldn’t wait to get out of the house where my mom was always dieting and finally be able to control my own food all the time. I planned on binging, and that’s exactly what I did. My poor body had been starved for so long that it didn’t know what to do with all the new food options. I remember one day in the lunch hall where I piled my tray with options. Literally, a pile of food, and a friend looked at me and said, “Holy hell, are you going to eat all of that?” The disgust on her face was clear, and it soon made me feel disgusting as well. So, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I went on a diet.
For the next ten years, I would go on every diet imaginable, but at the end of the day, it was the same pattern. Starving myself (sometimes I would eat nothing more than a handful of food each day for multiple days before a binge) and then eating literally anything I could get my hands on, only to feel gross and start restricting again. Over and over I did this. I spent so much money on weight loss programs, diet food, diet pills…I cringe thinking about it.
All this time, I was exercising intensely, sometimes multiple times a day, seven days a week, sometimes with an injury. I weighed myself at least twice a day, but often more, especially if I ate a large meal. I didn’t need to count calories or assign a number value to food (Weight watchers) because that information was now engrained into my brain. I didn’t even have to think. The information just popped into me head. (It still does sometimes.)
As my body was being abused by myself, my weight was going crazy. Sometimes, I was slender (of course, it was never good enough. Just five more pounds…), other times, I was overweight, and then fat. When I say I started the week in one size of jeans and ended it in the next size up, I’m not exaggerating. My clothing size fluctuated quickly, so my closet was packed with multiple sizes. I hid food, and I binged in secret. I ate food with flies on it and out of the trash can.
Why did I do all of this?
To be thin. To be beautiful. To be “healthy.” So people would think I’m active and not lazy. So people would respect me. So people would like me, or love me, or or or….And, when I was slender, I was getting compliments. “Wow, you look great.” “Did you lose weight? You look fantastic!” But when I was fat, all that went away, and I’d get silence, or worse, I’d get “concerned” talks about my “health.”
But here’s what people don’t mention when it come to dieting and weight loss and especially ED…It’s never enough, and a point comes when you realize this, and you have a decision to make. When the diets aren’t giving you want you need (what you REALLY need), what do you do?
Do you turn to alcohol? Drugs? Sex? Do you start cutting yourself?
I experimented with one of these, and I knew there was no going back. I knew that I had crossed some sort of invisible barrier and that I would never be able to go back without help.
During this time, I would crumple to the floor in a pile of tears on a regular basis. I hated myself. Truly, utterly, hated myself. That’s what dieting had done to me. It stripped me of every good thought I had about myself and replaced it with hate and ugliness. I was a nightmare to be around. My moods shifted from “fake happy” to “hangry” to depressed to sad to self-loathing to anger to sorrow…I can’t believe my husband stuck around, but I’m thankful he did because it wasn’t me who finally called the ED treatment center and made my first appointment. He did it.
I hated my first day at that place. It was an outpatient program, designed to last eight weeks, and it was intense. There were so many rules and I have an inherent dislike of authority. At this point, I was in my early thirties and the idea of having so many restrictions pissed me off. We couldn’t even go to the bathrooms without a buddy who had to stand outside the stall while we went. It was a way to keep us from throwing up or flushing food.
I left that first day, drove to a grocery store, bought all my favorite desserts, and binged in the parking lot. Then, I vowed never to return to that terrible place. I waited until the center closed, then called them up and left a message on their machine saying I wouldn’t be back. I got a return call in less than five minutes from a very polite counselor who convinced me to give it another chance.
So, I went back, and day after day, things got a little better. I loved that I wasn’t alone, and the others in the program made me feel supported. I left after two weeks and decided to do private therapy with a therapist who was a former counselor at the center. The center had super strict rules about not missing a session, no exceptions. I needed an exception, and when it wasn’t granted, I left, but those two weeks were life changing, and I have no doubt that the skills I learned from my private therapist were the same things I would have learned quicker if I had stayed the full eight weeks.
So, remember my anger? Well, it came out in full force during therapy. We talked about all my secrets, we examined my eating and the reasons for it, we took a magnifying class to our society and culture and how it treats fat people, we went deep into my relationships with others and how I handle negative feelings. We talked about everything going on in the background, but most importantly, my therapist gave me a big box of tools that I now carry with me through life that keeps me on the right track.
The best thing about being in recovery from an ED is the mental health benefits. I’m free in a way I never imagined possible. I’ve unlearned a lifetime of “truths” and healed not only my body but my mentality and self-esteem.
I went to graduate school and now have a MFA in Writing. I’m published in both short stories, poetry, and novels. I’m so much happier in general, and that shows in my relationships. I don’t get angry as quickly or as much as the past. I don’t care what other people think. I wear what I want and wear my hair how I want, and this has translated into also living my life how I want without worrying about meeting other people’s idea for success. I don’t think about food or diets or my body, which means my brain is free to think of more important things like deconstructing diet culture and dismantling the patriarchy and my career aspirations in horror writing.
I eat whatever I want, when I want, and I stop when I’m full. (I fully acknowledge the racism and ableism that is associated with intuitive eating. That’s a subject for another time.) I don’t count calories, and I took a hammer to my scale and smashed it to bits.
So, for those wondering, what is my weight and does my body fluctuate? I have no idea what I weigh (See above about my scale), but in the three years I’ve been on this journey, my weight stabilized early on and hasn’t changed. My closet is one size, and has been this whole healing journey.
I know everyone wants to talk about health with weight loss or gain, but I hope people can see that’s what I’ve just done. I hope people can see that diets aren’t health, and that slender doesn’t automatically equate to healthy, and that fat doesn’t mean someone is lazy. Fat people deserve love, respect, equality, and kindness, just like anyone else. Body positivity isn’t about loving one’s curves. It’s about everything in this article, about fighting a system that’s designed to make us fail and hate ourselves. It’s activism and being an ally.
I never imagined I’d be where I am today, but if I can do it, anyone can. Please, reach out to an ED specialist to get the help needed and to take that first step. You’re worth it!
A List of Feminist Horror Writers
Feminist horror Writers
What is feminist horror? For some, it means female driven horror that brazenly challenges social norms. For others, it’s a subtle nod toward dismantling the patriarchy. It’s female protagonists, female villains, female love interests. Feminist horror promotes sisterhood and female writers stepping into male dominated tropes. It’s a term that casts a wide net, and will have slightly different variations for each individual. Some writers consider themselves “feminist horror writers”, while others consider themselves feminists who just so happen to love and write horror. There’s room in this genre for all definitions. When I set out to highlight feminist horror writers, I got a variety of responses, including a few males. Yes, males can be feminist horror writers as well.
This is a list of self-identifying feminist horror writers. Please contact me if you are interested in being added!
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
J
K
L
M
N
P
R
S
T
W
V
Z
Let's Talk About Brand New Cherry Flavor and THAT scene!
If you’re into weird creepy horror, than you’ve probably already heard about the new Netflix limited series Brand New Cherry Flavor. Based off a book by the same title published in 2011 by Todd Grimson, this show tumbles viewers down a twisted dark rabbit hole filled with occult fever dreams and a sex scene (yes, THAT scene) that will forever be seared into the my brain.
Enter Lisa Nova, our fearless young protagonist who dreams of directing her own movie and making it big in show business. She is in possession of cinematic gold, an artsy black-and-white feature with an ending that leaves viewers wondering, “how did she pull that off?” Lisa puts her trust into Lou Burke, an industry veteran who is hungry for a hit. The two strike a deal which quickly goes sour leaving Lisa Nova fuming and wanting revenge. Lucky for her, she’s introduced to a mysterious woman named Boro who promises to make Lou pay if only Lisa agrees to a few concessions.
This show dazzles and disturbs from start to finish. The relationship between Lisa and Boro navigates between hunter and prey as the two women (played by Rosa Salazar and Catherine Keener) dance the line between life and death. Revenge plays a major role inciting the action, but there is a clear “be careful what you wish for” vibe that resonates with each episode. If viewers feel a strong “Channel Zero” (they absolutely will), it’s because Nick Antosca created both. Here he works alongside Lenore Zion to once again produce a high tension experience with jolts of terror. And kittens.
There’s plenty of memorable scenes, but it’s THAT scene in episode four that comes up most often on social media. Antosca and Zion hold nothing back when it comes to finding imaginative ways to equally arouse and disgust their audience. While the show leaves a few questions unanswered and the possibility for a second season, Lisa Nova’s journey feels complete even if the show doesn’t get a chance to expand with more bonkers adventures. This is a show that will have viewers glued to their television set, and rightfully so.
I have TikTok!
I’ve loved exploring social media and meeting writers, so I decided to jump onto TikTok and give it a try! Hop over to TikTok and follow me @nicobellfiction for the fun!
Here is my most watched video:
Anndddddd….here is my least watched video :)
And now, I present my favorite video I made so far:
June Book Reviews!
June Book Reviews!
Wow...
This book...
Okay, let me start by saying I'd seen this book all over Twitter and Instagram. I didn't really know what to expect other than it was a popular book being read by a lot of reviewers, so it must be engaging. What I got was so much more. Ward is putting on a clinic for writers. The writing, the plot, the characters, the twist...Holy guacamole the twists!! It's a dark book with really intense topics, and every time I assumed I knew what was happening, I was proven wrong. It's a book the explores mental illness.
It sticks with you.
Honestly, it wasn't at all what I was expecting, and that's always a pleasant surprise. If you like unsettling horror, this is for you! all over Twitter and Instagram. I didn't really know what to expect other than it was a popular book being read by a lot of reviewers, so it must be engaging. What I got was so much more. Ward is putting on a clinic for writers. The writing, the plot, the characters, the twist...Holy guacamole the twists!! It's a
CW: Child abuse and child death
After getting caught up in a tragic accident, Stephen Barber is eager to move on with his life. Except, the past won't die. Stephen is the target of a century old curse that is slowing transforming him into something unrecognizable. It's up to his wife Moira to piece together the puzzle and save him before it's too late.
Generous writes a quick paced, high tension horror that will have readers glued to the page. Despite Stephen's poor judgement and inexcusable actions revolving around the accident, he exhibits remorse and guilt, casting him as a sympathetic protagonist. The punishment of his actions is harsh, and centers on a mystery a hundred years in the making. His punishment involves a transformation that is unique and thrilling. There are some vivid scenes of violence* related to the backstory of the curse, but the majority of the horror falls in the "weird" category, which makes it a lot of fun to read.
Readers looking for a fast fulfilling horror read with a sympathetic protagonist will love this book!
*CW: rape, child death
Eric LaRocca weaves a fast paced story of obsession and twisted love in this weird-fiction horror novella. Two women meet through an internet chat room and begin exchanging harmless emails. Things progress rapidly and the women begin talking more frequently, revealing their own secret desires. What started out as a simple friendship quickly spirals into madness leaving the reader wondering, "What the hell did I just read?"
Zoe and Anges are well-developed characters who instantly capture the reader's focus. While their tone is a bit overly formal at times (even in the context as strangers on the internet), they each compliment the other's needs and secret desires. These two were made for each other- until they weren't.
This short novella packs a lot of tension and sorrow, a mix of empathy and despair, all within the confines of emails and Instant Messages (remember those, kids?). LaRocca masters the art of storytelling within the experimental story telling structure. He holds nothing back, which allows the reader to experience a wealth of emotions as the relationship between these two women takes several unexpected twists and turns.
Readers who love Palahniuk will devour LaRocca's story of infatuation.