For the love of all the is good, STOP GENETICALLY ENGINEERING DINOSAURS!


Friend: Are you gonna see the new Jurassic Park movie?

Me: How many Jurassic Park movies is too many? At what point do we destroy the park, once and for all, and annihilate all the remaining dino DNA. Or what if we offered an incentive to NOT scrape some old dino cells together, whip them in a centrifuge and spawn a carnivorous prehistoric monster? Like, if you make it to the age of thirty-five without bringing back a t-rex, you get a million dollars? Or maybe just the assurance you won’t become dino breakfast. Surely, you’d think that’d be enough.

But nooooooo.

We have another Jurassic Park movie.

Because no one has learned their lesson.

Look, I loved the original. The sequels…Eh. And I actually really enjoyed the latest Chris Pratt installment, but can’t be leave well enough alone? When can a classic just remain a classic?

Friend: ……

Me: ……

Friend: So…..

Me: Yeah, of course I’m going to see it. Obviously.