The Book Was Better : Five Failed Movie Adaptations of Books

I read A Prayer for Owen Meany in twelfth grade. Required reading that turned into one of my favorite books, so I was excited when my English teacher said we were going to watch Simon Birch, the movie adaptation.

No. Just no. The movie was awful. They took the heartfelt drama John Irving created and killed it.

It's not the only incredible book that got lost in translation in an attempt to gain movie status.

So let's take a look at some terrible movie adaptations. Do you agree or disagree?

Here's RollingStone's take on worst movie adaptations: Atlas Shrugged, Battlefield Earth, The Scarlett Letter and The Lorax

Thrillist shined a spotlight on The Bonfire of the Vanities, Hitchikers Guide to the Glalaxy, The Scarlett Letter, Dune, and The Cat in the Hat

Even CBS News got in on the debate and stated The Great Gatsby, Eragon, The Hobbit, Twilight, and The Da Vinci Code fall under the title of "bad". I think they're a bit harsh. I enjoyed The Da Vinci Code book and movie.

You probably have a list of your least favorite movie adaptations of books. Do any of yours match mine? Here is my top five least favorite movie adaptions:

Okay, I have to add one more : The Girl With All The Gifts. Book was way better.

Leave a comment and let me know what you think. Also, what are your favorite movie adaptions?

Black Mirror's Arkangel : The Unexpected Character We Need To Talk About

***This post contains tons of SPOILER ALERTS. This is your only chance to avoid learning the ending of Black Mirror's Arkangel Episode***

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I'm three episodes into Black Mirror Season 4, but the second episode, Arkangel, stuck with me. I woke this morning with the characters still fresh in my brain, the desolate mother Marie screaming in the middle of the street with blood on her face, her daughter Sara hitchhiking out of town, and the story question still stirring : How far would you go to protect your child?

Basic premise: Arkangel is an experimental program that implants a tiny chip into a child's mind allowing a parent to track her. Parents see what their children see, monitor their health, and can even apply a parental lock which filters harmful or distressing situations so the child only sees "blurs". Marie, a single mom, implants Arkangel into her daughter Sara's mind after a "stranger danger" scare. Eventually, Marie disables it in order to allow Sara to have a more normal life. But when Sara becomes a teenager and stays out past curfew, Marie breaks out the Arkangel and discovers her daughter has been lying. Sara has a secret boyfriend, Trick.

Trick, the neighborhood bad boy, actually is a pretty decent guy despite selling drugs on the side. It's those drugs that Sara samples. Marie watches from the Arkangel control pad, finds Trick, and goes a bit crazy, threating him with jail (Sara is a minor) until he agrees not to see Sara again. Fast forward to Arkangel notifying Marie that Sara's pregnant, Marie crushing a morning after pill into Sara's smoothie, Sara getting sick at school, the school nurse telling Sara about the miscarriage, Sara discovering her mom is still using Arkangel, Sara pounding Marie's face in with the Arkangel controller and Sara hitchhiking out of town.

Phew.

The scene that stuck with me the most wasn't the ending. It was when Sarah confronts her boyfriend Trick about his sudden disinterest. He never tells her that Marie was behind the breakup, and it doesn't seem like Sara ever puts that piece together, which only makes their breakup more heartbreaking. Because while we know Sara has grown into a strong young woman and she'll be fine in the scary world, Trick's fate is a question mark.

From the beginning, he fits into the bad boy mold complete with a school yard fight. We get a sense things aren't great at home. Even as a teen, Trick sells drug only as a means to move out. He discourages Sara from trying hard drugs, which she does anyways. Basically, he's not a bad teen, and I could argue that if Marie took the time to get to know Trick, she would have had some compassion for him. Instead, he has to break up with Sara, presumably the one bit of hope and goodness in his life.

And where does that leave him? Where does that leave anyone who finally found a slice of light only to have it distinguished?

Does his heartbreak turn to anger once he discovers Sara left town? Does he start taking his own drugs? Will he end up arrested for his illegal side business? If Sara had stayed, would they have had a second chance? Would he have given up all his shady behavior because of her? I don't know, but I'd like to think he keeps moving forward, keeps trying to find something good to hang onto in what can be presumed to be a difficult life. Either way, he's the unexpected "sticky" character in Arkangel, the one I kept thinking about. And I'm rooting for him.

My Favorite Weird Headlines from 2017

Let's face it. 2017 was a unusual year. From politics to pop culture to science, it seemed the Earth spun into the Twilight Zone and is still searching for a way out. But never fear! Because when life turns upside down, weird news headlines emerge. Let's delve into some of the funniest and most peculiar bylines.

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2017/08/09/dental-brace-wire-lodged-in-intestine-for-decade-doctors-say.html

What's the weirdest thing you've ever swallowed? An Aussie woman went to the doctor with stomach pains only to discover she had a brace wire poking through her small intestine. Too bad she didn't have braces. Well, at least not for ten years. Yup, the dental brace was in her system for a decade before detected. Dental Brace Wire Lodged in Intestine For Decade, Doctor says

Imagine walking down your high school hallway. A strange, foreign odor swirls the air. It smacks the side of your nostrils, drifts to your stomach, and soon you find yourself queasy, heading for the nurses office. The culprit? Pumpkin Spice Air Freshener. Some people just can't appreciate the beautiful aroma of fall. Pumpkin Spice Air Freshener Prompts Evacuation of School  

https://www.reuters.com/news/oddlyEnough

This story is only weird if you prefer not to have your eyelids inverted. But apparently, it's rather common practice by one Chinese street barber. "Blade wash eyes" are said to unlock more moisture. Dry eyes? Go for a shave. Flipping Lids! Chinese barber offers eyelid shaves

This fisherman caught a drunk woman. She bit his line and swam away with it. Wanna guess what state this occurred? Florida. Yup.  Florida Woman Arrested After Biting Fisherman's Line

Look, I've never tried to shimmy down a chimney in order to rob a business, so maybe I'm being harsh when I include this story as a funny addition to the list. A Santa dressed thief tried to do go down the chimney to rob a California business. Thank goodness he had his phone handy so he could call the cops for help. Santa Style Thief Calls the Cops on Himself

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If you like weird and funny headlines as much as I do, hop over to the podcast Dumb People Town where the Sklar Brothers and Dan Harmon do a biweekly pod highlighting some of the dumbest headlines around the country....but mostly from Florida.